howwwzattt... the dream merchant...

Not too far in the distant future, lives an old man in a small cabin by the foot of the Himalayan, or is it the Andes, or is it on the vast plain of the great Mongolia and one never knows.

Some say the old man came from a far faraway place where the people, his people were pretty much different from the place he is now.

Nobody knows why he is there, by chance or by his own admission and only selected few knew the mystery which shrouded his person but those selected few too were long gone before they could tell the tale to the world.

On certain days when his hands are not shaking and his bones are not cracking, he would just graze his eyes to the east where the sun rises as if he remembers something and try hard to recollect what’s left from his memory and mind which never failed him since the day he made his pact, his promise, his only vow to those who had listen.

He is far from the modernization but not that far from the civilization where once in a while hunters and travelers would come by and sit along with him and they would exchange sweet and bitter tales from their journeys. On some cold nights he would offer them his homemade ale and in returns they would listen to his story.

He himself had lost his track on time because to him, time is just an infinite space that travels too fast and before one could grab the moment, it’s gone forever.

He is the last of his kind but before his time is up, he has to live with the burden of his memories of something that once he had embrace into his mind, heart and soul…

howwwzattt...of being sexist and telling the fact...

Bung collides with MPs, which was what The Star had carried out in its news today. This is not new in the Dewan Rakyat when not long ago he too was under fire when making sexist remark on women on how they “leak” every month.

He was wrong at that time I guess and yes he was being typically sexist in making that unnecessary remark.

The latest uproar came when he said that most women drivers were slow and did not pay attention to their surroundings while were at the wheel.

“Some women drivers drive slowly and seem oblivious to traffic. When you honk at them, they get agitated with some even showing hand gestures to other drivers,” during the debate on the Supplementary Supply Bill.

He got it right I say. Well perhaps some of you might think that I’m beginning to join the alpha male league this time around. No, you wrong brader.

Well base from my personal experience, 90% of women do tend to be oblivious to traffic, jumpy and the worse of all is the inconsiderate trait they have when behind the wheels.

Imagine when you’re at a parking lots trying to slot your parking ticket into the machine with cars choking in front and on your back too. Same goes to the next lane besides you and there is only one machine that’s operates.

Male drivers would just take their turn, my lane next lane rule. An unwritten code of conduct when dealing with such situation. But wait, the ladies!!! They just love to inches into the flow without even thinking of the simple system that we had adapted ourselves into.

This happened everywhere, not confine of only getting oneself out of the parking lots. Junctions, toll booth, on a jam packed roads and what not.

You hollered when we tell you the fact, accused us the male species of being sexist but at the same time you just failed to use your reasoning. You demand the same treatment in modern society as men, you formed whatever women liberation associations asking for fairness but when it doesn’t suits you, you accused us with many things.

I’ve nothing against women. My mother, wife, children, girlfriends are all female. But please do reason yourself and just don’t simply get jumpy with the fact that when behind wheel, you do tend to be an INCONSIDERATE person and that was just the tip of the iceberg.

NOTE: I too do get snarling hissing looks from them, sometimes 2 middle fingers LOL...

howwwzattt... rambling and ranting in the wee hours...

They said that when someone dies unexpectedly such as when involved in an accident or even murdered, the brain still remains function for a few more seconds even the body went lifeless without pulse and heartbeat. The brain will keep on registering those last moments until it slowly went dead.

I don’t know how true it is because I did not experience the situation myself but perhaps there were some truth in it.

I have a friend where a few years back involved in a fatal accident which took the lives of his wife and his only child while travelling in his car. He went into a coma for a few days and when he awakes it was just like awaking from a deep sleep where everything seems to be fine and asking for his wife and son but just to be told that they were no longer around to be with him. This was related to me by him.

The last thing on his mind on the impact of the accident before he went blank was them. It was always someone that you love, not even yourself. Perhaps due to the fact that you’re not that sure will they be alright when you no longer around to see their needs and well beings. Or perhaps it was just simply the magnitude of your love towards them...

howwwzattt...the journey continues...

I’m writing again and yes I can’t sleep and it has been quite a while since I had both things coming into my life.

Some writes because it is what they do, some because they’re enjoying it but me, I write or tried to just because there were so much and so many things in my thought that circling non-stop as if there were voices telling me to pour it all out. Pour it all out in letters that will become words, words that will become sentences with commas and dots.

I was never good in essay during my school days and will never be good in it ever. Even with this entry, there is nothing specific about it. I'll just write.

Once not too long ago, I’ve met a songwriter that used to penned down songs for a popular rock band during the 80’s and I asked him why did he never make more songs nowadays since he has the touch in making beautiful songs that can lasted decades if not centuries. Even now his songs were the basic learning songs played by any rockers wannabe in the country just like Paranoid by Black Sabbath and Highway Star by the legendary Deep Purple during my times.

His answer was simple, “Those times I was so poor and miserable without foods to eat, without love to live for and full of miseries. My life was so pathetic that ideas of jotting down the pain and sorrow just came rushing through my veins...", and with that great songs were born.

Yes, great laureates and great poets lead a sad life. Take Chairil Anwar from Indonesia. He was a great man in literature but his life was full of tormented journeys till the day he died. Sometimes it was from their excessive negative lifestyles but it all started because once they lost something. But it was the pain and agony that keeps them moving.

Perhaps we both have something in common. Sadness gives us the adrenaline pleasure that drives us with stupid imaginations and doings beyond the thinking of any rational minds...

Loudness - In My Dreams With Lyrics

IN MY DREAMS - Loudness
Album: Hurricane Eyes (1987)

In my dreams, I was walking alone
The rain falling on my emptiness
In my dreams, I'm a long way from home
I walk through the gates of loneliness
I thought the love we had was in vain
And Just another story
My frozen tears, like the wind against the rain
Slipping from my eyes
In my dreams, in my dreams, without you

In my dreams, shadows fall on my face
And every corner is a different place
In my vision, I would knock on your door
I'd lost all that I was searching for
I thought the sun had come to an end
And you were gone forever
A change of heart, like the echoes in the dark
I fade into the sea

In my dreams, I was turning to stone
Until you opened up my eyes
Whoa, whoa...