howwwzattt... rambling and ranting in the wee hours...

They said that when someone dies unexpectedly such as when involved in an accident or even murdered, the brain still remains function for a few more seconds even the body went lifeless without pulse and heartbeat. The brain will keep on registering those last moments until it slowly went dead.

I don’t know how true it is because I did not experience the situation myself but perhaps there were some truth in it.

I have a friend where a few years back involved in a fatal accident which took the lives of his wife and his only child while travelling in his car. He went into a coma for a few days and when he awakes it was just like awaking from a deep sleep where everything seems to be fine and asking for his wife and son but just to be told that they were no longer around to be with him. This was related to me by him.

The last thing on his mind on the impact of the accident before he went blank was them. It was always someone that you love, not even yourself. Perhaps due to the fact that you’re not that sure will they be alright when you no longer around to see their needs and well beings. Or perhaps it was just simply the magnitude of your love towards them...

howwwzattt...the journey continues...

I’m writing again and yes I can’t sleep and it has been quite a while since I had both things coming into my life.

Some writes because it is what they do, some because they’re enjoying it but me, I write or tried to just because there were so much and so many things in my thought that circling non-stop as if there were voices telling me to pour it all out. Pour it all out in letters that will become words, words that will become sentences with commas and dots.

I was never good in essay during my school days and will never be good in it ever. Even with this entry, there is nothing specific about it. I'll just write.

Once not too long ago, I’ve met a songwriter that used to penned down songs for a popular rock band during the 80’s and I asked him why did he never make more songs nowadays since he has the touch in making beautiful songs that can lasted decades if not centuries. Even now his songs were the basic learning songs played by any rockers wannabe in the country just like Paranoid by Black Sabbath and Highway Star by the legendary Deep Purple during my times.

His answer was simple, “Those times I was so poor and miserable without foods to eat, without love to live for and full of miseries. My life was so pathetic that ideas of jotting down the pain and sorrow just came rushing through my veins...", and with that great songs were born.

Yes, great laureates and great poets lead a sad life. Take Chairil Anwar from Indonesia. He was a great man in literature but his life was full of tormented journeys till the day he died. Sometimes it was from their excessive negative lifestyles but it all started because once they lost something. But it was the pain and agony that keeps them moving.

Perhaps we both have something in common. Sadness gives us the adrenaline pleasure that drives us with stupid imaginations and doings beyond the thinking of any rational minds...

Loudness - In My Dreams With Lyrics

IN MY DREAMS - Loudness
Album: Hurricane Eyes (1987)

In my dreams, I was walking alone
The rain falling on my emptiness
In my dreams, I'm a long way from home
I walk through the gates of loneliness
I thought the love we had was in vain
And Just another story
My frozen tears, like the wind against the rain
Slipping from my eyes
In my dreams, in my dreams, without you

In my dreams, shadows fall on my face
And every corner is a different place
In my vision, I would knock on your door
I'd lost all that I was searching for
I thought the sun had come to an end
And you were gone forever
A change of heart, like the echoes in the dark
I fade into the sea

In my dreams, I was turning to stone
Until you opened up my eyes
Whoa, whoa...