howwwzattt... we're living in a crossfire...

Dear Diary,

I have never kept a diary or journals and the title was a lyric from Scorpions', a song called Crossfire.

There are so many things inside me that I want to tell, to deliver. Those things were cramped inside my brain, cramping against each other at the door but none succeeded. How I wish I am... If only I am...

At this hour no one still awakes, even those in the graveyard shift are fighting with the sleepiness that crept in them.

Looking outside my window to the wet and busy street of Yangon

For 3 years I was battling my sleeping disorder, until one day I could no longer stand the effect to myself and my work, I seek professional treatment. At first I was given a cocktail of Dormicum and another pill but after the third visit in a span of 6 months, the GP straight away refer me to a shrink. Well, I was surprised and have the thought of me going bonkers after all.

Well, it was not bad after all. I was diagnosed of having an active brain activities. Meaning, my brain is wide awake eventhough my body is tired. So, I was given a supply of 50mg Seroquel for 2 weeks and since then, I'm a regular face fortnightly at the shrink office.

That was a year ago, the last supply of Seroquel still in my toiletries bag but I have stopped myself from taking it for about 8 month but I still carry it wherever I go. Keep it in the hotel's safe when I'm working away from base just to keep me aware of my problem.

Tonight is another of those night that I can't sleep. It is sad isn't it, only sleep on every other day...