howwwzattt... rambling and ranting in the wee hours...

They said that when someone dies unexpectedly such as when involved in an accident or even murdered, the brain still remains function for a few more seconds even the body went lifeless without pulse and heartbeat. The brain will keep on registering those last moments until it slowly went dead.

I don’t know how true it is because I did not experience the situation myself but perhaps there were some truth in it.

I have a friend where a few years back involved in a fatal accident which took the lives of his wife and his only child while travelling in his car. He went into a coma for a few days and when he awakes it was just like awaking from a deep sleep where everything seems to be fine and asking for his wife and son but just to be told that they were no longer around to be with him. This was related to me by him.

The last thing on his mind on the impact of the accident before he went blank was them. It was always someone that you love, not even yourself. Perhaps due to the fact that you’re not that sure will they be alright when you no longer around to see their needs and well beings. Or perhaps it was just simply the magnitude of your love towards them...

howwwzattt...the journey continues...

I’m writing again and yes I can’t sleep and it has been quite a while since I had both things coming into my life.

Some writes because it is what they do, some because they’re enjoying it but me, I write or tried to just because there were so much and so many things in my thought that circling non-stop as if there were voices telling me to pour it all out. Pour it all out in letters that will become words, words that will become sentences with commas and dots.

I was never good in essay during my school days and will never be good in it ever. Even with this entry, there is nothing specific about it. I'll just write.

Once not too long ago, I’ve met a songwriter that used to penned down songs for a popular rock band during the 80’s and I asked him why did he never make more songs nowadays since he has the touch in making beautiful songs that can lasted decades if not centuries. Even now his songs were the basic learning songs played by any rockers wannabe in the country just like Paranoid by Black Sabbath and Highway Star by the legendary Deep Purple during my times.

His answer was simple, “Those times I was so poor and miserable without foods to eat, without love to live for and full of miseries. My life was so pathetic that ideas of jotting down the pain and sorrow just came rushing through my veins...", and with that great songs were born.

Yes, great laureates and great poets lead a sad life. Take Chairil Anwar from Indonesia. He was a great man in literature but his life was full of tormented journeys till the day he died. Sometimes it was from their excessive negative lifestyles but it all started because once they lost something. But it was the pain and agony that keeps them moving.

Perhaps we both have something in common. Sadness gives us the adrenaline pleasure that drives us with stupid imaginations and doings beyond the thinking of any rational minds...

Loudness - In My Dreams With Lyrics

IN MY DREAMS - Loudness
Album: Hurricane Eyes (1987)

In my dreams, I was walking alone
The rain falling on my emptiness
In my dreams, I'm a long way from home
I walk through the gates of loneliness
I thought the love we had was in vain
And Just another story
My frozen tears, like the wind against the rain
Slipping from my eyes
In my dreams, in my dreams, without you

In my dreams, shadows fall on my face
And every corner is a different place
In my vision, I would knock on your door
I'd lost all that I was searching for
I thought the sun had come to an end
And you were gone forever
A change of heart, like the echoes in the dark
I fade into the sea

In my dreams, I was turning to stone
Until you opened up my eyes
Whoa, whoa...

howwwzattt... of new year and new resolutions...

New Years has always been a time of celebration and good luck. Different cultures celebrate New Years in their own ways, but almost everyone seems happy, full of hope and enthusiastic about the New Year and thus renews their vows and commitments for a good fortune.

A New Year's resolution is also a commitment that many individuals and/or organizations/business units make on New Year's Eve to bring positive changes and improvements within themselves or their businesses.

Did you know that almost 80% of resolutions fail as early as mid January the next year, and the percentage of failed/abandoned resolutions reaches 95% at around April? Why? Many things come into play: commitment, psychology, stress, fear of a change, the goals set are simply not realistic, people do not feel as equally motivated/energetic throughout the year as they may feel in the very beginning...you name it, people can find a reason not to follow through with their resolutions.

We will look into some tips on how to make realistic and achievable New Year's resolutions.

Think well before hand. Setting a New Year's resolution is a process of planning and setting goals that you really want to achieve. Find something that will improve/change your life, business, relationship, career, physical fitness or financial well-being. Understand that there is a difference between your wishes and what you want and need.For example, if your office is away from your home, you need to drive to your office. You may wish to have an expensive Ferrari to drive there, but that isn't your need. You need to have a car (any car that you can afford) so that you can drive to work, and, as such, your resolution should be about how to buy a new car that you can realistically afford.

Sometimes it's hard to determine what you really want or need, but you have plenty of time until the New Year. Think well, write down all the problems/needs/wants you have and choose which one you really want to get solved and improved. Think whether you only want to achieve the resolution or you are actually willing to achieve it.

Plan your goals and write them down. This will keep you on track during the process and won't let you lose sight of your goals and plans. Use any format you want to write down your plan. You can use a computer or simply write it down on a paper. Write out every step and detail about your goals and the way you want to achieve them. You may want to use different sheets of paper for each goal in order to be more organized and neat.

Set standard SMART goals. The goals you set should meet the following criteria:

Specific: The goal must be specific, concise and simple. It should state what is it that you want in simple understandable words.

Measurable: Your goal should be measurable, you should know and let others know (if they are also affected by your goals such as your employers, business partners, etc.) of what would it mean if you achieve the goal and what it will take to be successful. For example, if your goal is to get a new car, you must state how much money will be required for it, how much extra money will be needed for the tax, etc.

Achievable: Your goal should be achievable and realistic. Be practical. This is the most important step to keep in mind. People usually fail in goals because they set unrealistic goals that are simply not possible within the given scenario.

Relevant: Your goal should be relevant to what you have dreamed of. It should have something that, when you think of achieving it, will motivate you enough to put in the effort and actually achieve it.

Time bound: Your goals should have a time frame. You should specify the time you will need to achieve it. Be careful to set a realistic time frame. If your time frame is too short for the goal to be achieved it may be discouraging and prevent you from achieving it; while on the other hand, if you take too long to achieve a goal, you will soon get exhausted and more likely quit.

Set alternative resolutions as well. Be flexible in your plans and set alternative goals and methods to achieve your desired results, should you need to change your goals and plans. Always have a Plan B so that when Plan A isn't achievable you will have the option to work on plan B.

Start it with your mind. Set your mind and firmly believe that you will achieve your resolution. Constantly visualize how it will look and feel when you actually achieve your goals. Think how will you act once you have achieved the goal and act as though you have already achieved it. Encourage others to visualize your success and be around supportive people who will encourage you during the process.

Start from Zero. Take a tiny step at a time, as they say every long journey starts with a single step forward. Keep your spirit and always be in constant search of achieving your goals. Always look for clues and situations that might help you achieve your resolution.

Remind yourself of your resolution constantly. Write down your resolution and stick it to your monitor, on the front door of your fridge or any other place that you will notice it often, this way you will always be reminded of your resolution and slowly it will get into your sub-conscious mind. Then, all of a sudden, everything will start working in your favor to help you achieve your resolution.

Reward yourself when you're successful. Be it a Saturday night party, a long drive with your loved one or a dinner in your favorite restaurant, always reward yourself on your small achievements that bring you closer and closer to your resolution. Don't get too stressed during the process. Instead, try to convert each step in achieving your resolution into a fun activity.

Leave procrastination behind. As Nike says, "Just Do It". This small phrase has a whole lot of philosophy in it. People fail in their goals because they are always procrastinating. They are always in a mind state of "I will do it", but rarely do. Don't be in such a position and just act on your plans, start now and never wait for the next day, hour or even minute. Just do it.

Goals and resolutions can be set any time of the year, but one feels more motivated and encouraged to set resolutions in a New Year. After all, it is a fresh start, something new that has powerful feelings of joy, encouragement and hope for a better, brighter and rewarding future. Set your New Year's resolutions and keep these motivations and feelings in your mind. Every time you feel down and stressed, remind yourself of your goals and you will feel light and happy.

Happy New Year 2011

Taken from MAS E&M Portal

howwwzattt... of mystic and being mystical...

Imagine this. It was in a middle of the night, well past midnight to be exact and you were alone inside the elevator of your apartment. You’ve rode it hundreds of time by your own in the morning, afternoon and night without any fear of anything. It was a well gated and guarded apartment where outsiders were quick to be picked up by the security.

Well, tonight is different. Suddenly you just remember the Chinese movie you watched on the telly last night. A ghost story it was where the female character rode the elevator just like you are now in the middle of the night, well past midnight.

In the movie, of course the character was not alone inside the elevator. There was this old man standing just behind her but she can’t see him because that old man was a ghost. And you remember how the old man sticks out his long tongue trying to lick the back of the character’s neck.

Just the tongue was about to reach her neck, the elevator stops and the doors open. Save by it, she walks out. But you still stuck inside there for you have a few more floors to go.

Do you feel the fear? Everything from the movie racing into you now. How the long haired lady (always no face shown) dragging herself to the victims and funny enough that the victims just wait for her to come. The old man inside the elevator, and many more questionable entities that were far from human being.

Shit, no scary faces but the way they put it really makes you on a brink of wetting you pants or blouse at that moment.

Once in a while I did encounter that situation and I guess everybody must’ve too but luckily never saw one but the feeling when remembering did gave me the goose bumps.

Dusk in Langon...

Last July I went to Bali with a few friends and we stayed somewhere not far from the Nusa Dua area, something about Langon I think. It was a resort of sort and was run by the government to train students in the hotel services and all just like our INTEKMA in Shah Alam.

It was situated uphill and surrounded by lush greens and a few Tanah Adat, places where they carried out the rituals for the dead. Not just rituals, there were real dead bodies.


A hilly burial site (seen from my balcony)

Bali is truly the land of mystic where mystical things can just happen. Everywhere you go, you will see “dupa” (place where they put the incenses) be it in front of the door of the houses, business outlets and even on top the taxis roof. Not to mention that everywhere you turn, there are idols for worshipping for the majority of the Balinese practice Hinduism.

The place that I’m staying at is no different.

I’ve got a nice unit complete with a bedroom with an attached bathroom, a living room and a balcony with a pool view couple with green surrounding.

The scenery was scenic...

The first night was really nice, sleeps peacefully and couldn’t wait the morning to get around the island and feel the firsthand account what it is with Bali that newlyweds crave for their honeymoon there.

The second night was totally different. I could sense something just not right in there and even writing this gives me the creeps.

I couldn’t sleep that night and was sweating under the blanket even with the air-conditioning was in its full blast mode. Turn on the TV and every channels show the cultural events that were held during the day. Even their cultural events were full of mystical beings in it.

Just about midnight, I heard chuckles outside in the leaving room couples with footsteps like a child is running around. Damn, now it really got into my nerves. What the hell was that? No, I didn’t see anything, but I could feel the presence of someone or something else in there.
I’m telling you, even when writing this, my hair is standing.


The living room where I heard it all...

How I wish at that moment the sun rise and I could escape the agony of not seeing instead listening at it.

Told my friends about it in the morning and they just shrugged me off. Imagine that, shrugged me off!!! They gave me their theory on it but one of them did experience the same thing as I did.
And that was enough for me to understand that Bali is truly the land of mystic. I won’t go to Langon in the future, Kuta beach is something different. Don’t you think so babehhh...? :-)